Tišina

Provukla se kroz gužvu naizgled lako (kao da se priseća polke?) gaseći cipelicama neke zamišljene pikavce na podnom mozaiku, ali ja sam znao kako joj teško pada tih par koraka ka meni...

26.01.2018.

Something about memory in general

"Human memory. The greatest cheat of all. My memories vanish.. It is the sly process that will eventually reduce our tragedy to the level of the bearable, although we all know it was unbearable.

The entire war, all that we have been through, has been reduced to a few images: an odd mortar round, a bit of hunger, a few art exhibitions, a few water queues, a few massacres, and that's that..."

Ozren Kebo
"Sarajevo a beginners guide"

26.01.2018.

Hand Grenade

"There is a boy in my building who earned himself the nickname Hand Grenade, just because he failed to specify correctly the calibre of projectile that hit the back yard five minutes earlier. he said it was a hand grenade, and it was, in fact, an 85-milimetre mortar round.

That's how nicknames are earned in Sarajevo these days.

That's how children are growing up in Sarajevo these days. Every little girl in Sarajevo has had more baptisms by fire than Rambo. That is why they display extraordinary caution when watching movies of their reality. Two little boys, as they stroll down the street:

-Who do you support?
-In war or in football?"


Ozren Kebo
"Sarajevo a beginners guide"

26.01.2018.

Confrontation



"-Well, the city is not badly damaged as I thought it would be.

So, they will never understand this.

Is it worth explaining that there is no room for disappointment,
that there really have been dreadful days, horrible weeks, disastrous months, and hopeless winters?
if you start explaining, you will end up arguing. And then fighting. And everyone will pour their own misfortune onto another person. And thus intolerance grows among people who love each other but do not necessarly understand each other.

Ivan Lovrenovic says: " After this war, Sarajevans will be identified by their surplus of silence and dignity."

What an exhilarating and unreachable ideal. Silence as an expression of experience that cannot be recounted. That escapes any attempt to be defined. Dignity as the result of a difficult realization: knowing something others don't know and being aware of the fact that this advantage only make sense for as long as one is silent about it. This requires the kind of comprehension where inner pleasure is the only reward one strives towards. But this is for the Brahmin, not for Sarajevans. Our endless wisdom is not the result of choice of maturity, but rather of necessity. Great necessity."

Ozren Kebo

"Sarajevo a beginners guide"
16.12.2017.

...

Mahatma Gandhi said that seven things will destroy us:

Wealth Without Work
Pleasure Without Conscience
Knowledge Without Character
Commerce (Business) Without Morality (Ethics)
Science Without Humanity
Religion Without Sacrifice
Politics Without Principle

07.12.2017.

Ozren Kebo-"Sarajevo-A begginer's guide"

Believe it or not

Have you heard that you can make a cake without no eggs, walnuts, sugar or cream; that you can make a superb fish pate using canned sardines, over a fire built with old newspapers; that all you need to light up your home is a bit of oil, a piece of rope, a jar, a glass of water and an old matchstick; that you can effectively eliminate hunger by eating small, meager meals every eight hours, wit a 36-hour break; that you can organize a private, three-year Ramadan fast, even if you are not a believer; that following such a fast, old suits, previously far to small, now fit perfectly; that you never go out on the street flowing a mortar round, for another is already en route towards the same street; that you never go out on the street following two mortar rounds, for the third one is en route too; that you only go out two hours after the last mortar round, as that is the only reliable sign that they have moved to another street; that you can wash your hair and your feet with five liters of water, and then use it to flush the toilet; that the water used for brushing your teeth can be used for washing your dishes (the so-called first rinse, for the tough dirt), and then your toilet; that a canister previously used for petrol can never be clean enough to use it for drinking water- you can only use them for "technical water", to wash your feet and socks and then flush your toilet; that your private library is an excellent material for making the said stove, and that the stove is just an illusion since at twenty below zero there is no library that can keep your home warm for longer then two hours; that books on Marxism, the ones you burn first, do not burn well at all-they are useless because they were printed on the top quality gloss paper that does not burn well, but they can be used instead of Kevlar, as they are thick and sometimes impenetrable to a bullet; that glass from the framed artwork on your wall can be used on your windows, and paintings burn better tan some think, i.e. faster; that shades should always be down, as snipers are not interested in blacked-out windows; that curtains should always be drawn, as they stop the shrapnel flying from far away, after having lost the initial force; that twenty pieces of shrapnel do not do much to car, provided its vital organs have not been affected; that a car won't do much for his owner if there's no fuel; that you can brew excellent coffee using wheat flour and cocoa powder, great grappa from rice, and the best cigarettes using old newspapers and a bit of wool yarn; that is difficult to determine which is worse- the cold or the heat, and that you can never bet on justice, as the statement that it is slow but sure is just a lie? Justice is so fast that no one can catch up with it.

Ozren Kebo-"Sarajevo-A begginer's guide"

27.07.2017.

Taslihan...miris djetinjstva

Mozda za lektiru u Osnovne skole u Sarajevu uvesti predivnu knjigu: Jan Beran "Price iz Taslihana" #mojedjetinjstvo #dugirazgovorisbratom U dnu starog vratničkog groblja stoji neugledan i nakrivljen, nišan na kome ni najbolji poznavalac arapskog pisma ne može više da pročita ime onoga koji je pod njim pokopan. I tu, u hladu razgranate drače, počiva čovjek kome su ljudi za života dali nadimak Putnik, iako niko – od onih koji su ga poznavali – nije mogao reći da mu je noga ikada kročila dalje od Ilidže, na zapad, ili Kozje Ćuprije, na istok. Stekao ga je vječno boraveći po sarajevskim hanovima, dočekujući ili ispraćajući putnike mnogobrojnih karavana koji su se u njima zaustavljali. Ali, malo je reći da ih je samo dočekivao ili ispraćao. On se od njih nije odvajao, baš kao da je i on s njima doputovao. Kako se priča, taj neobičan čovjek nije mnogo mario za jelo i piće kojim bi ga hanski gosti ponudili. Primao je to sa nijemom ravnodušnošću. Jedino što bi ga ispunjavalo pažnjom bili su razgovori koji u hanovima nisu nikada prestajali da teku. A kad bi ranim jutrom, bez posebnih riječi oproštaja, ispraćao odlazeće kiridžije i trgovce, izgledalo je kako su mu oni ostavili bar polovinu svog dragocjenog tereta. I dok se ljeti pretvarao u pažljivog slušača, zimi bi – kad su snježni smetovi onemogućavali kretanje karavana – postajao rječit i vješt pripovjedač bez koga mnoge Sarajlije nisu mogli ni da zamisle svoju svakodnevnu kafu... Jan Beran - "Priče iz Tašlihana" Postoji i knjiga rezisera Mirze Idrizovica - "Spomenar". Meni licno knjiga, koja pored knjige Ozrena Kebe "Sarajevo za pocetnike", najbolje opisuje atmosferu i svakodnevni zivot pod opsadom u Sarajevu. Vrati mi svaki zvuk i miris tog vremena. Uglavnom podjelicu dio o Janu Beranu za one koji ne znaju ko je to: Lijepo jutro. Štimung morski. Trčim obalom za komšijom Mirom i njegovom kćerkom Anjom.Prozačan izlazak sunca. Miljacka skoro presušila. Pjevam sa Mirom. "Hoću da te zaboravim, ali ne znam kako?" Anja Franković se ljuti. "S kim ja trčim? Fuj!"- kaže ona. "Neću popravljati zube dok ti ne završiš stomatologiju!" uzvikujem. Anja se duri. Mi pjevamo. !Al sad evo kraj je svemu." Pucnjava. Bježimo u našu zgradu. Padaju granate. Grmljavina topova. Pijem kakao. Na jednoj utičnici imamo struje. Haos koji vlada na tom planu niko ne razumije. Ismet me vozi na Televiziju. Kod "Karingtonke" gužva. Granata leti iznad Predsjedništva i udara drveče u parku, preko puta zgrade. Eksplozija. Dim. Skrećemo kombijem u pasaž "Karingtonke". Nastaje metež. "Opusti se!"-kažem Ismetu. On me gledao kao da sam lud. Saznajemo da je od eksplozije ranjeno više osoba. "Naš život su elementi:voda, plin, vatra, struje, drva, brašno, ulje, riža....eksplozije...smrt...", govorim Ismetu koji vozi zaobilaznim putem. U Televiziji Alfo Zulić mi saopštava da je umro Jan Beran, Dogovaramo da Afo kaže par riječi o Janu u večerašnjem Dnevniku. "Imamo portret", prisjećam se. "Nemamo struje da ga presnimimo", kaže Afo. "Emitovat ćemo ga nekog mirnijeg dana." Jan Beran je bio znalac kamere, mudrac, putnik. Ljubitelj vina i Hercegovine. Većina ljudi iz ovog esnafa učila je kod "tata" Jana trikove našeg zanata. Nekad davno, prepirao sam se sa mladim snimateljem koji je tvrdio kako je nemoguće snimiti samo sunce u kadru, bez prstena izmaglice. "Vidio sam takav kadar u Kurosavinom filmu "Skrivena tvrđava", rekao sam. Otišli smo do Berana. "Draga djeco, ima dvadeset načina da se riješi vaš problem", govorio je znalac, "Ali, prvo naručite piće!" Volio je da u predvečerje pije rujno vino "Na kamenu, u Počitelju", i pripovjeda o davnm vremenima ovih "čarobnih prostora". Snimao je starine, iskopine i ruševine, rijeke i jezera, drveče i cvijeće, stećke, stare gradove i kule. Nikada ljude. Pomoću statičnih kadrova, koje je mogao prepoznati svaki gledalac, pričao je priče koje su napisali Bašeskija, Andrić. Selimović, Dizdar, Ćatić, Kulenović. Motivi koje je obrađivao zahtjevali su stilizaciju, besprijekornu kompoziciju, statiku, dug kadar, mir bez pokreta. Brusio je svoj prepoznatljiv stil, kao što draguljari bruse rijetko plemenito kamenje. Njegovim sekvencama duvali su vjetrovi iz dalekih vijekova. Najsvježije priče desile su se nedavno, prije dvije stotine godina. Sa Aleksandrom Sašom Vesligajem snimio je prvi filmski mjesečnik, za preduzeće "Bosna-film" u režiji Marinka Gazdića. Bio je direktor filma prvog bosanskohercegovačkog filma u boji "Veziljini sinovi" , u režiji Pjera Majhrovskog. Pan Jan Beran bio je jedan od osnivača TV Sarajevo gdje je i ostvario svoja najznačajnija djela. Lutao je od Jajca, Livna, Travnika, Kreševa Fojnice, Vareša do Boračkog jezera, Mostara, Blagaja, Bune, Počitelja, Stoca i Trebinja. Sve što je snimao, pisao i pričao dešavalo se u Bosni i Hercegovini. Snimam sekvencu mog vizuelnog dnevnika posvećenog Janu Beranu. Zove se "Tišina". Veoma je toplo. Snimamo putu ulicu kod Otoke. Asfalt se topi. Prebacujemo se do Veterinarskog fakulteta. "Interesuje nas samo praznina i pustoš", kaže snimatelj Miki Uherka. "Toga ima koliko hoćeš", reče plava cura uvrijeđeno. Idemo dalje. Elektroprivreda, Hotel "Bristol". Srednja kapija Kasarne "Maršal Tito". Poslije pucnjave po kombiju Televizije, sa prozora Kasarne, dok je u njoj bila JNA, prvi put stojim pred ovim zgradurinama. Tramvajska stanica razrušena. "Baš smo zgodna meta"-kaže Miki. Neprijatno je. Sunce prži. Ljudi se kriju pored Muzeja Revolucije. Puca pam. Neprijatna jeka. Vidim dim iznad Koševa. Pokušavamo ustanoviti od kuda je pucano. Ležimo ispod zida na "Obali vojvode Stepe", preko puta kina "Tesla" i slikamo pustu ulicu. Prilazi nam usplahireni kinooperater Kasim. Misli da nam je zlo. Kad mu rekosmo za Berana, rastuži se. "Bio je pravi čo'jek za rakije", reče Kasim. "Bio je ters", dodadoh. "Jebeš čo'jeka koji nije ters", uzviknu Kasim i otrča preko ulice. Snimaju me kako vadim vodu iz Miljacke. Pričam u kameru. Govorim o Janu, njegovom porijeklu iz srednje Evrope, radu, životu, ratovima.... Dok snimamo padaju granante. Odjekuju eksplozije. Dobar fon za ratnu priču. Zvuk aviona. Obala masna, Tužna. Pusta. Napušteni i razvaljeni tramvaji. Opljačkane radnje. Razjebano razbojište. Govorim da Sarajevo ima položaj kao Granada, ljepotica Andaluzije. Pričam o Alhambri. Hotelu "Luz Granada" (Svjetlost Granade). Krčmama. Gitarama. Igračicama. Palmama. Snijegu na Siera Nevadi. Izabeli Katoličkoj, Filipu Aragonskom i Bo Abdilu, posljednjem arapskom kralju Granade. O 1492. godini i rekonkvisti. O zalasku sunca u vrhovima Alhambre. I pomislih: Sve to ima veze sa panom Janom Beranom. Siva mačka gega ulicom. Čudimo se kako je preživjela. Odlazim kući i čitam Krležu: "Ovi jadni narodi, bijedne ove narodnosti u prnjama vječne narodne borbe, ova nardna ropstva i narodna oslobođenja, ove jadne opere sa bengalskom rasvjetom, sve same slabe slike, epigonsko preslikavanje, kromo litografije u četverobojnom tisku za čitanke, images d'epinal.." Odlažem knjigu i pomislim: Jan Bera je bio pravi Bosanac. U tome bi se, siguran sam, složili svi, i muslimani i hrvati i srbi i jevreji.... Mirza Idrizović "Spomenar

21.07.2017.

Average Thursday



Half day work:
Preparing project proposal for workshop grants. Helping with California retreat in September for 12 Humphrey Fellows from 12 different countries, which includes chasing tickets, hotels and waiting for answers from Disneyland program managers.
Helping in gathering info needed for potential workshop with Albania journalists in the USA in January. Working on icebreaker preparations for Fellows. Finishing database for the project reports.
Creating data base for the Professional Affiliations contacts that we have collaborated with since 2012.

Finishing at 1 pm, going home and enjoying lap pool for 1 hour.

Checking airplane tickets for Africa. reading about visa regulations for Zimbabwe, South Africa, Botswana and Namibia.

Meeting my great friend Liz at Starbucks for cup of coffee and cup of talk.
Attending Phoenix Film Society, special event screening of the movie “Step“ (Deeply insightful and emotionally inspiring, STEP embodies the true meaning of sisterhood through a story of courageous young women worth cheering for.).

Going half hour to gym, mostly to drive bicycle.


Coming home and listening one class of online „The Complete Digital xxxing Course 2017“ that I have enrolled in.
Making White Russian and enjoying it while reading „The Book of my lives“ by Hemon.

20.06.2017.

Life

Playboy: If life is so purposeless, do you feel its worth living? Kubrick: Yes, for those who manage somehow to cope with our mortality. The very meaninglessness of life forces a man to create his own meaning. Children, of course, begin life with an untarnished sense of wonder, a capacity to experience total joy at something as simple as the greenness of a leaf; but as they grow older, the awareness of death and decay begins to impinge on their consciousness and subtly erode their joie de vivre (a keen enjoyment of living), their idealism — and their assumption of immortality. As a child matures, he sees death and pain everywhere about him, and begins to lose faith in the ultimate goodness of man. But if he’s reasonably strong — and lucky — he can emerge from this twilight of the soul into a rebirth of life’s élan (enthusiastic and assured vigor and liveliness). Both because of and in spite of his awareness of the meaninglessness of life, he can forge a fresh sense of purpose and affirmation. He may not recapture the same pure sense of wonder he was born with, but he can shape something far more enduring and sustaining. The most terrifying fact about the universe is not that it is hostile but that it is indifferent; but if we can come to terms with this indifference and accept the challenges of life within the boundaries of death — however mutable man may be able to make them — our existence as a species can have genuine meaning and fulfillment. However vast the darkness, we must supply our own light. — Stanley Kubrick, interview with Playboy.

17.06.2017.

Pitam se?

Citam ponovno Hemonovu „Knjigu moji zivota“ i tako odlutam ponekad u dubine svojih misli. I on, poputi Zlaje Arslanagica u knjizi „Mozda ce sutra biti suncan dan“ objasnjava da supred sami rat bili u najboljim godinama svog zivota, te kako su imali izuzetno bogat drustveni zivot u tadasnjem Sarajevu. Obojica opisuju dane pred rat, apokalipticne, ekstaticne, pune nekog luda zivljenja i energije..Pogotovo jer su, koliko toliko, dosli do informacija o tome sta se desava i sta bi se moglo desiti u bliskoj buducnost.. I pitam se, kako biste vi zvijeli zivot da recimo znate da bi isti mogao biti okoncan ratom za sedam dana ili koji mjesec? Sta biste prvo uradili, da li biste voljeli vise, otvorenije, strasnije? Da li biste bili sve ono sto se ne usudjujete biti sada? Potpuno izbrisali drustvene norme iz svog ponasanja ili biste se samo pritajili i cekali da oluje dodje?

I am reading again "The Book of my lives" by Aleksandar Hemon, and sometimes I wander into the depths of my own thoughts. Hemon also just like Zlaja Arslanagic in his book "Maybe tomorrow will be a sunny day," is explaining that in the years before the war they were in the best years of their lives and they had a very rich social life in Sarajevo during that period. Both of them are describing the days before the war as- apocalyptic, ecstatic, filled with a crazy life and energy.. Especially due to the fact that they got some info about what is happening and what could happen in the near future.. I wonder how would you live your life if you knew that your life could end up in the middle of the war zone in just a week or in a month? What would you do first, would you love more, would you be more open, more passionate? Would you be all what you do not dare to be now? Would you completely erase the social norms around you or you would chose just to be quite and wait for the storm to come?
30.05.2017.

May 2017

You were full and fully capable You were self sufficient and needless Your house was fully decorated in that sense You were taken with me to a point A case of careful what you wish for But what you knew was enough to begin And so you called and courted fiercely So you reached out, entirely fearless And yet you knew of reservation and how it serves And I salute you for your courage And I applaud your perseverance And I embrace you for your faith in the face of adversarial forces That I represent So you were in but not entirely You were up for this but not totally You knew how arms length-ing can maintain doubt And so you fell and you're intact So you dove in and you're still breathing So you jumped and you're still flying if not shocked And I support you in your trusting And I commend you for your wisdom And I'm amazed by your surrender in the face of threatening forces That I represent You found creative ways to distance You hid away from much through humor Your choice of armor was your intellect And so you felt and you're still here And so you died and you're still standing And so you softened and you're still safely in command Self protection was in times of true danger Your best defense to mistrust and be wary Surrendering a feat of unequaled measure And I'm thrilled to let you in Overjoyed to be let in in kind Written by Alanis Morissette

30.05.2017.

Deep Inside You

Deep inside you
I may have left a trace of light
in the night between the walls
even all the good people
and all of those that you know
and the getaway from loneliness
in which you hide
when desperation brakes out
are barely enough
in front of the cruel power
final and ultimate
deep inside you
passions are braking
what remained
and what doesn’t exist
longing for death
desire for survival
craving for freedom
and will to bow to destiny
like on a palm
deep inside you
thousands of drummers
fanfares from distance
half-mast flags
who are you crying for my love
black omens on your darling’s face
downcast in words
for once in a lifetime
I will let a man of cold grasp and steel look
capture me

07.05.2017.

May 7 2017

Last year on this day I have moved from my birth city Sarajevo to Arizona. Time flies when you are having fun, or it just flies faster with aging. However, since last year May 7 I have shared so many exciting places mostly with one of my best friends, someone without whose support nothing would be the same, my partner in crime Mat Dry. Certainly one of a kind creature and a person that has a heart size of the galaxy, someone who is so easy to love with a full heart. <3 I have squeezed in this year trips to California, Huntington Beach, Disneyland, Utah and Bryce & Zion Canyons, exploring food of the rustic small town Panguitch, experiencing force of the space at Meteor Crater, three times visiting one of the worlds wonders Grand Canyon and sharing it with my dear brother and my amazing redhair hero Sandra Sladakovic. Hiking to the weirdest forest of Arizona- Petrified Forest, have been trying Caribbean food at Albuquerque, looked for aliens at Roswell, New Mexico. Hiking inside of the amazing Carlsbad Caverns, and having a first row tickets for the millions bat sunset dance at the entrance of the caverns. Checking out what has inspired creators of the Martian movie at the Biosphere 2 in southern part of Arizona. Rafting almighty Colorado and sharing a life changing experience with a 2016-17 Humphrey Fellows, exploring history of Arizona at Prescott, finding the oldest restaurant in AZ. I got to hang out with a local animals in Florida, alligators' are just about everywhere, especially in amazing Everglades. Comparing western and eastern coasts of Florida, merging to the art lifestyle of Miami. Being hosted and embraced by Mat's BF Rola and his gorgeous wife Galit Freedman.Getting finally to meet one of the best writers that live in the New York City, Jessamyn Hope, and seeing Big Apple from authentic perspective of the locals. Doing National Monuments marathon with Fellows, conquering Canyon De Chelly, Monument Valley and Grand Canyon in only 48 hours. And testifying to the magnificent flexibility of the human body by being exposed to the colors, music and dance moves of the Cirque du Soleil in Las Vegas... A lot to put in one year? I would still say that a way more is in front of me and us. I am grateful that I also got to became a part of the ASU, and got to experience perspective on HHH program from the other angle, working and making things become real together with Claire and Dr. Bill. And certainly I am so grateful to have amazing friends Brian, Christy, Seidi, Jennifer, Jen, Hayden, Dan, Sam, Anne, Ashley, Lily, Casidy and many others here too that have embraced me with completely open hearts and arms. And I found also a second family- Dry family made me feel as an important part of it. And it is such a huge privilege. I do miss my mom a lot. I miss to have a morning coffee with her,I miss to see her laughing and being happy, I miss my cousin and her gorgeous daughters. I miss seeing them growing up and discovering world. And I miss a lot my Bosnian friends, from that perspective year seems as a too long time not to see them. Tnx to the Social Media I am everyday involved in their lives, celebrating their happiness and being frustrated with their life obstacles. I just yesterday missed weeding of one of my bets friends Tomislava and she certainly have found an amazing guy who understands how unique and special create she is, and just seeing them shine even thought the Viber or FB makes my heart bigger. I miss having our famous “kafa utorkom” in Izlog or to go to the theater shows and enjoy magic crated by of one the best actors and very special friend my dear Mario. But I guess it is impossible to have it all and to be everywhere at the same time. I know that future holds a lots of travels shared with my Bosnian and USA fiends. My USA friends certainly need to explore and discover beauty of Sarajevo and Balkans, and my Bosnian friends should come here and let me be their guide now that I have discovered soo many places to visit and explore. Love you all and thank you all for being a very part in my life journey!

16.04.2017.

Aleksandar Hemon, The Book of My Lives

“But the moment you point at a difference, you enter, regardless of age, an already existing system of differences, a network of identities, all of them ultimately arbitrary and unrelated to your intentions, none of them a matter of your choice. The moment you other someone, you other yourself."

“One of the most common platitudes we heard was that “words failed.” But words were not failing us at all. It was not true that there was no way to describe our experience. We had plenty of language to talk to each other about the horror of what was happening, and talk we did. If there was a communication problem it was that there were too many words; they were far too heavy and too specific to be inflicted upon others. If something was failing it was the functionality of routine, platitudinous language—the comforting clichés were now inapplicable and perfectly useless. We instinctively protected other people from the knowledge we possessed; we let them think that words failed, because we knew they didn’t want to be familiar with the vocabulary we used daily. We were sure they didn’t want to know what we did; we didn’t want to know it either.”


“Displacement results in a tenuous relationship with the past, with the self that used to exist and operate in a different place, where the qualities that constituted us were in no need of negotiation. Immigration is an ontological crisis because you are forced to negotiatet the conditions of your selfhood under pereptually changing existential circumstances.”

“One of the most despicable religious fallacies is that suffering is ennobling, that it is a step on the path to some kind of enlightenment or salvation.”

“While he wanted to teach me what he knew, I wanted him to see what it all looked like for me—perhaps love is a process of finding a common vision of reality.”

“Only those who do not care, only those who find a way to diminish or extinguish the value of other human beings, survive wars without damage and speak of warrior honor afterward.”


“we wept within the moment that was dividing our life into before and after, whereby the before was forever foreclosed, while the after was spreading out, like an exploding twinkle-star, into a dark universe of pain.”

18.05.2015.

The only way to do it...

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.” ~ Mark Twain

29.12.2014.

What love is...?

What is love? Watched, for a second time movie "Maleficent" in one of the airplanes, on a long journey from Nairobi all the way to my birth place Sarajevo, and this movie made me think about very banal question, pretty much exploited and miss used in a various ways, which is present all the time through this movie: "Is there something called a real love"? Well... it all depends on one thing: what do we consider as a real love..? Is that a trashy, pathetic brain washing story which we get from early childhood, such as prince charming riding a white horse, solving all our problems, saving us even when we are not meant to be saved etc..? Or is it actually something completely else, much more real, concrete, and maybe scary... Real love does exist but in a completely different form then what we would think should be... Maybe love is actually: -being inpatient to share opinions and argue or discuss with someone you care for about some theater play or movie, or any other experience recently seen together... -admiration of the fire inside of the eyes of the beloved one when they talk passionately about things they love, knowing that their passion will teach you how to see world from completely new perspective... -silent support given to each other when we fight our inside wars against our fears... -being there for someone even if they are not capable to be there at the time for you, knowing that you could always count on them for the same kind of support... -discovering new places, stories, sky colors, sounds, food tastes, life conditions together with curiosity rather then fear of being far away from the personal comfort zones... -not being afraid to be open and honest even if that would be hard and challenging... -having enough trust and belief to try not to be afraid to be the worst version of yourself, when you feel you are falling apart knowing that person near you will actually appreciate your soul nakedness instead of running away from it... -knowing to appreciate some ones wenus ;) -not be scared, ashamed or afraid to say "I love you" any time you feel you want to share that feeling... -knowing how to love and appreciate some ones freedom same way you need it for yourself, without being forced to loose your strong bond and close connection... -aiming to make laugh your love whenever you can knowing that is one of the most important things you want to share together... -and yes to remind your love of spiders wearing raindrops on their heads like hats...:) and yes this all still can sound maybe pathetic, but in a real world is all but not simple, superficial or usual. But it is love... and it does exist... in completely different form than what we do expect usually.. PS. wenus 1. the skin on your elbow 2. a word use for freaking someone out by making them think youre talking about something else when you say wenus: Your wenus is huge! Wanna see my wenus? Cover up your wenus, for the love of god! My wenus is all wrinkly. My wenus can stretch really far. I have TWO wenuses!

20.05.2014.

Bosnia’s Other Calamity

Bosnia and Herzegovina is drowning. Torrential rains have unleashed roaring funnels of water and mudslides that have consumed entire villages and taken more than 30 lives, according to official Bosnian counts. Almost a million are reported displaced; many more remain at risk. The economic toll will reach into billions of dollars in a small country with a tragic history. As one Bosnian remarked, “We were already struggling, now we are sinking.” But Bosnia is drowning for another reason, too, this one no act of God. It has been eight years since a painstaking effort, started in 1995, to establish efficient, shared institutions began to steadily unravel under a fresh onslaught of nationalism, corruption, cronyism and international neglect — a stagnation that seeped slowly but overwhelmingly into Bosnia’s political, economic and even spiritual life. Even before the torrents began, few Bosnians, whether Serbs, Croats or Bosniaks (Bosnian Muslims), saw much future for their country. Many young people simply hope to leave. Indeed, the abysmal response by Bosnia’s leaders and institutions to the current crisis reflects the country’s pervasive dysfunction. Layers of unnecessary bureaucracy and cumbersome decision-making mechanisms, nominally intended to respect group sensitivities, have been exploited by self-serving politicians who pander to ethnic fears, dispense patronage and fund party coffers, while avoiding accountability. In the wake of the flooding, Bosnians have used social media to lash out at government ineptitude — for example, a decision by public television stations to broadcast Turkish soap operas instead of emergency information. Furious flood victims say bureaucrats and officials at all levels of government have ignored their cries for help. Neighboring Croatia, Slovenia, Macedonia and Montenegro have been far quicker to offer flood relief to both Bosnia and Serbia, and do so without considering recipients’ ethnic backgrounds. Likewise, the cataclysmic flooding has forced many Bosnians out of their ethnic isolation to help one another, rekindling a long-missing sense of solidarity across ethnic lines. One might have hoped that the politicians of the country’s two ethnically divided regional units would have put aside their polarizing tactics now. Alas, the flood has become another way to score political points for elections next October. The divisive Bosnian Serb leader Milorad Dodik used an emergency meeting with Serbia’s prime minister, Aleksandar Vucic, to restate his disdain for any policies emanating from Sarajevo, Bosnia’s capital, which in his estimation serves only Bosniak interests. Among Bosniak politicians, the federal premier, Nermin Niksic, and the recently dismissed state minister of security, Fahrudin Radoncic, have focused on trading political accusations against each other rather than delivering disaster relief. In short, Bosnia needs urgent international assistance not only to deal with the floods, but also to end the country’s political paralysis. Hands-on international supervision kept Bosnia functioning for a decade after war ended in 1995, but that supervision gave way, in 2006, to a new policy of “local ownership.” When the new international high representative surrendered his powers to break local political deadlocks, he gave the fractious parties a green light to paralyze governance while Bosnian civil society and outside powers looked on passively. Continue reading the main storyContinue reading the main story Advertisement Meanwhile, the prospect of European Union membership, which was prompting reform in neighboring Croatia and Serbia, had little effect in Bosnia, whose polarizing leaders remained satisfied to cling to power through corruption, cronyism and appeals to ethnic loyalties. Angry public protests earlier this year momentarily caught the political establishment’s attention. But the protests then petered out, and with them went hopes for a sustained, indigenous movement for change, or for an international initiative to jump-start reforms. The floods provide a fresh opportunity for all to get serious about making Bosnia governable. Even the protesters, who embraced unrealistic notions of “citizens’ democracy,” need to recalibrate their approach by acknowledging that there is no substitute for properly functioning institutions led by elected leaders. Their next campaign should focus on electoral victories in October, when they will have a chance to throw out leaders whose performance disgusted them, in favor of politicians who will meet their responsibilities. Maybe that prospect could force Bosnia’s cynical and complacent leaders to change their approach. Enduring change can come only from within, but it will not come without a strong catalyst from the United States and the European Union. Re-creating full-throated outside oversight is not an option. Instead, the outside powers should devise new ways to make joining the European Union a practical possibility, so long as Bosnia’s institutions function well for its citizens. Good ideas for reforming Bosnia’s Constitution, curbing corruption and changing election rules abound, both abroad and in Bosnian civil society. What’s lacking are inducements to adopt those reforms. The full challenge posed by the floods will not just be getting relief assistance to flood victims, but also generating the will in Washington and Brussels to help Bosnia move forward politically. A failure to act boldly now could well produce a resurgence of the calamity of interethnic violence in the not-too-distant future. Edward P. Joseph is a senior fellow and lecturer at the Johns Hopkins School of Advanced International Studies in Washington. Srecko Latal is an editor at the Balkan Investigative Reporting Network in Sarajevo, Bosnia and Herzegovina.

14.05.2014.

I feel same...

Most people in Sarajevo have this dilemma - to leave the city as fast as they can and go anywhere else, or to stay here forever, and it varies with the same intensity and emotional force as the uncompromising love or disdain and hate one can feel for Sarajevo itself. However, when speaking about the hate Sarajevans may feel towards Sarajevo, it is too strong a word to denote something that is nothing more than exhaustion from something that seems to have no end, and the beginning has been long forgotten. Any future Sarajevo will be like a giant jigsaw puzzle, whose dispersed pieces may take years or decades to put together for it to resemble something recognisable. Each one of us (and here I mean those who care about the jigsaw puzzle) should try to preserve their own piece of the puzzle and wait, or rather work on replacing the waiting with action, and accelerate the moment when a true picture of Sarajevo will start to come together – not the same as before, but rather its variation. Better or worse – no one can know that. Karim Zaimovic

Sarajevo
19.03.2014.

Would you dare?

Don't kiss me if you are afraid of thunder... My life is a storm... Anita Krizzan

16.03.2014.

Growth..

"For a seede to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn't understand growth, it would look like complete destruction..."  LIFE by Cynthia Occelli

14.03.2014.

Us...

She was an angel...crawing chaos... He was a demon...seeking peace...


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