Provukla se kroz gužvu naizgled lako (kao da se priseća polke?) gaseći cipelicama neke zamišljene pikavce na podnom mozaiku, ali ja sam znao kako joj teško pada tih par koraka ka meni...


Average Thursday

Half day work:
Preparing project proposal for workshop grants. Helping with California retreat in September for 12 Humphrey Fellows from 12 different countries, which includes chasing tickets, hotels and waiting for answers from Disneyland program managers.
Helping in gathering info needed for potential workshop with Albania journalists in the USA in January. Working on icebreaker preparations for Fellows. Finishing database for the project reports.
Creating data base for the Professional Affiliations contacts that we have collaborated with since 2012.

Finishing at 1 pm, going home and enjoying lap pool for 1 hour.

Checking airplane tickets for Africa. reading about visa regulations for Zimbabwe, South Africa, Botswana and Namibia.

Meeting my great friend Liz at Starbucks for cup of coffee and cup of talk.
Attending Phoenix Film Society, special event screening of the movie “Step“ (Deeply insightful and emotionally inspiring, STEP embodies the true meaning of sisterhood through a story of courageous young women worth cheering for.).

Going half hour to gym, mostly to drive bicycle.

Coming home and listening one class of online „The Complete Digital xxxing Course 2017“ that I have enrolled in.
Making White Russian and enjoying it while reading „The Book of my lives“ by Hemon.



Playboy: If life is so purposeless, do you feel its worth living? Kubrick: Yes, for those who manage somehow to cope with our mortality. The very meaninglessness of life forces a man to create his own meaning. Children, of course, begin life with an untarnished sense of wonder, a capacity to experience total joy at something as simple as the greenness of a leaf; but as they grow older, the awareness of death and decay begins to impinge on their consciousness and subtly erode their joie de vivre (a keen enjoyment of living), their idealism — and their assumption of immortality. As a child matures, he sees death and pain everywhere about him, and begins to lose faith in the ultimate goodness of man. But if he’s reasonably strong — and lucky — he can emerge from this twilight of the soul into a rebirth of life’s élan (enthusiastic and assured vigor and liveliness). Both because of and in spite of his awareness of the meaninglessness of life, he can forge a fresh sense of purpose and affirmation. He may not recapture the same pure sense of wonder he was born with, but he can shape something far more enduring and sustaining. The most terrifying fact about the universe is not that it is hostile but that it is indifferent; but if we can come to terms with this indifference and accept the challenges of life within the boundaries of death — however mutable man may be able to make them — our existence as a species can have genuine meaning and fulfillment. However vast the darkness, we must supply our own light. — Stanley Kubrick, interview with Playboy.


Pitam se?

Citam ponovno Hemonovu „Knjigu moji zivota“ i tako odlutam ponekad u dubine svojih misli. I on, poputi Zlaje Arslanagica u knjizi „Mozda ce sutra biti suncan dan“ objasnjava da supred sami rat bili u najboljim godinama svog zivota, te kako su imali izuzetno bogat drustveni zivot u tadasnjem Sarajevu. Obojica opisuju dane pred rat, apokalipticne, ekstaticne, pune nekog luda zivljenja i energije..Pogotovo jer su, koliko toliko, dosli do informacija o tome sta se desava i sta bi se moglo desiti u bliskoj buducnost.. I pitam se, kako biste vi zvijeli zivot da recimo znate da bi isti mogao biti okoncan ratom za sedam dana ili koji mjesec? Sta biste prvo uradili, da li biste voljeli vise, otvorenije, strasnije? Da li biste bili sve ono sto se ne usudjujete biti sada? Potpuno izbrisali drustvene norme iz svog ponasanja ili biste se samo pritajili i cekali da oluje dodje?

I am reading again "The Book of my lives" by Aleksandar Hemon, and sometimes I wander into the depths of my own thoughts. Hemon also just like Zlaja Arslanagic in his book "Maybe tomorrow will be a sunny day," is explaining that in the years before the war they were in the best years of their lives and they had a very rich social life in Sarajevo during that period. Both of them are describing the days before the war as- apocalyptic, ecstatic, filled with a crazy life and energy.. Especially due to the fact that they got some info about what is happening and what could happen in the near future.. I wonder how would you live your life if you knew that your life could end up in the middle of the war zone in just a week or in a month? What would you do first, would you love more, would you be more open, more passionate? Would you be all what you do not dare to be now? Would you completely erase the social norms around you or you would chose just to be quite and wait for the storm to come?

May 2017

You were full and fully capable You were self sufficient and needless Your house was fully decorated in that sense You were taken with me to a point A case of careful what you wish for But what you knew was enough to begin And so you called and courted fiercely So you reached out, entirely fearless And yet you knew of reservation and how it serves And I salute you for your courage And I applaud your perseverance And I embrace you for your faith in the face of adversarial forces That I represent So you were in but not entirely You were up for this but not totally You knew how arms length-ing can maintain doubt And so you fell and you're intact So you dove in and you're still breathing So you jumped and you're still flying if not shocked And I support you in your trusting And I commend you for your wisdom And I'm amazed by your surrender in the face of threatening forces That I represent You found creative ways to distance You hid away from much through humor Your choice of armor was your intellect And so you felt and you're still here And so you died and you're still standing And so you softened and you're still safely in command Self protection was in times of true danger Your best defense to mistrust and be wary Surrendering a feat of unequaled measure And I'm thrilled to let you in Overjoyed to be let in in kind Written by Alanis Morissette


Deep Inside You

Deep inside you
I may have left a trace of light
in the night between the walls
even all the good people
and all of those that you know
and the getaway from loneliness
in which you hide
when desperation brakes out
are barely enough
in front of the cruel power
final and ultimate
deep inside you
passions are braking
what remained
and what doesn’t exist
longing for death
desire for survival
craving for freedom
and will to bow to destiny
like on a palm
deep inside you
thousands of drummers
fanfares from distance
half-mast flags
who are you crying for my love
black omens on your darling’s face
downcast in words
for once in a lifetime
I will let a man of cold grasp and steel look
capture me


May 7 2017

Last year on this day I have moved from my birth city Sarajevo to Arizona. Time flies when you are having fun, or it just flies faster with aging. However, since last year May 7 I have shared so many exciting places mostly with one of my best friends, someone without whose support nothing would be the same, my partner in crime Mat Dry. Certainly one of a kind creature and a person that has a heart size of the galaxy, someone who is so easy to love with a full heart. <3 I have squeezed in this year trips to California, Huntington Beach, Disneyland, Utah and Bryce & Zion Canyons, exploring food of the rustic small town Panguitch, experiencing force of the space at Meteor Crater, three times visiting one of the worlds wonders Grand Canyon and sharing it with my dear brother and my amazing redhair hero Sandra Sladakovic. Hiking to the weirdest forest of Arizona- Petrified Forest, have been trying Caribbean food at Albuquerque, looked for aliens at Roswell, New Mexico. Hiking inside of the amazing Carlsbad Caverns, and having a first row tickets for the millions bat sunset dance at the entrance of the caverns. Checking out what has inspired creators of the Martian movie at the Biosphere 2 in southern part of Arizona. Rafting almighty Colorado and sharing a life changing experience with a 2016-17 Humphrey Fellows, exploring history of Arizona at Prescott, finding the oldest restaurant in AZ. I got to hang out with a local animals in Florida, alligators' are just about everywhere, especially in amazing Everglades. Comparing western and eastern coasts of Florida, merging to the art lifestyle of Miami. Being hosted and embraced by Mat's BF Rola and his gorgeous wife Galit Freedman.Getting finally to meet one of the best writers that live in the New York City, Jessamyn Hope, and seeing Big Apple from authentic perspective of the locals. Doing National Monuments marathon with Fellows, conquering Canyon De Chelly, Monument Valley and Grand Canyon in only 48 hours. And testifying to the magnificent flexibility of the human body by being exposed to the colors, music and dance moves of the Cirque du Soleil in Las Vegas... A lot to put in one year? I would still say that a way more is in front of me and us. I am grateful that I also got to became a part of the ASU, and got to experience perspective on HHH program from the other angle, working and making things become real together with Claire and Dr. Bill. And certainly I am so grateful to have amazing friends Brian, Christy, Seidi, Jennifer, Jen, Hayden, Dan, Sam, Anne, Ashley, Lily, Casidy and many others here too that have embraced me with completely open hearts and arms. And I found also a second family- Dry family made me feel as an important part of it. And it is such a huge privilege. I do miss my mom a lot. I miss to have a morning coffee with her,I miss to see her laughing and being happy, I miss my cousin and her gorgeous daughters. I miss seeing them growing up and discovering world. And I miss a lot my Bosnian friends, from that perspective year seems as a too long time not to see them. Tnx to the Social Media I am everyday involved in their lives, celebrating their happiness and being frustrated with their life obstacles. I just yesterday missed weeding of one of my bets friends Tomislava and she certainly have found an amazing guy who understands how unique and special create she is, and just seeing them shine even thought the Viber or FB makes my heart bigger. I miss having our famous “kafa utorkom” in Izlog or to go to the theater shows and enjoy magic crated by of one the best actors and very special friend my dear Mario. But I guess it is impossible to have it all and to be everywhere at the same time. I know that future holds a lots of travels shared with my Bosnian and USA fiends. My USA friends certainly need to explore and discover beauty of Sarajevo and Balkans, and my Bosnian friends should come here and let me be their guide now that I have discovered soo many places to visit and explore. Love you all and thank you all for being a very part in my life journey!


Aleksandar Hemon, The Book of My Lives

“But the moment you point at a difference, you enter, regardless of age, an already existing system of differences, a network of identities, all of them ultimately arbitrary and unrelated to your intentions, none of them a matter of your choice. The moment you other someone, you other yourself."

“One of the most common platitudes we heard was that “words failed.” But words were not failing us at all. It was not true that there was no way to describe our experience. We had plenty of language to talk to each other about the horror of what was happening, and talk we did. If there was a communication problem it was that there were too many words; they were far too heavy and too specific to be inflicted upon others. If something was failing it was the functionality of routine, platitudinous language—the comforting clichés were now inapplicable and perfectly useless. We instinctively protected other people from the knowledge we possessed; we let them think that words failed, because we knew they didn’t want to be familiar with the vocabulary we used daily. We were sure they didn’t want to know what we did; we didn’t want to know it either.”

“Displacement results in a tenuous relationship with the past, with the self that used to exist and operate in a different place, where the qualities that constituted us were in no need of negotiation. Immigration is an ontological crisis because you are forced to negotiatet the conditions of your selfhood under pereptually changing existential circumstances.”

“One of the most despicable religious fallacies is that suffering is ennobling, that it is a step on the path to some kind of enlightenment or salvation.”

“While he wanted to teach me what he knew, I wanted him to see what it all looked like for me—perhaps love is a process of finding a common vision of reality.”

“Only those who do not care, only those who find a way to diminish or extinguish the value of other human beings, survive wars without damage and speak of warrior honor afterward.”

“we wept within the moment that was dividing our life into before and after, whereby the before was forever foreclosed, while the after was spreading out, like an exploding twinkle-star, into a dark universe of pain.”


The only way to do it...

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.” ~ Mark Twain


What love is...?

What is love? Watched, for a second time movie "Maleficent" in one of the airplanes, on a long journey from Nairobi all the way to my birth place Sarajevo, and this movie made me think about very banal question, pretty much exploited and miss used in a various ways, which is present all the time through this movie: "Is there something called a real love"? Well... it all depends on one thing: what do we consider as a real love..? Is that a trashy, pathetic brain washing story which we get from early childhood, such as prince charming riding a white horse, solving all our problems, saving us even when we are not meant to be saved etc..? Or is it actually something completely else, much more real, concrete, and maybe scary... Real love does exist but in a completely different form then what we would think should be... Maybe love is actually: -being inpatient to share opinions and argue or discuss with someone you care for about some theater play or movie, or any other experience recently seen together... -admiration of the fire inside of the eyes of the beloved one when they talk passionately about things they love, knowing that their passion will teach you how to see world from completely new perspective... -silent support given to each other when we fight our inside wars against our fears... -being there for someone even if they are not capable to be there at the time for you, knowing that you could always count on them for the same kind of support... -discovering new places, stories, sky colors, sounds, food tastes, life conditions together with curiosity rather then fear of being far away from the personal comfort zones... -not being afraid to be open and honest even if that would be hard and challenging... -having enough trust and belief to try not to be afraid to be the worst version of yourself, when you feel you are falling apart knowing that person near you will actually appreciate your soul nakedness instead of running away from it... -knowing to appreciate some ones wenus ;) -not be scared, ashamed or afraid to say "I love you" any time you feel you want to share that feeling... -knowing how to love and appreciate some ones freedom same way you need it for yourself, without being forced to loose your strong bond and close connection... -aiming to make laugh your love whenever you can knowing that is one of the most important things you want to share together... -and yes to remind your love of spiders wearing raindrops on their heads like hats...:) and yes this all still can sound maybe pathetic, but in a real world is all but not simple, superficial or usual. But it is love... and it does exist... in completely different form than what we do expect usually.. PS. wenus 1. the skin on your elbow 2. a word use for freaking someone out by making them think youre talking about something else when you say wenus: Your wenus is huge! Wanna see my wenus? Cover up your wenus, for the love of god! My wenus is all wrinkly. My wenus can stretch really far. I have TWO wenuses!


Bosnia’s Other Calamity

Bosnia and Herzegovina is drowning. Torrential rains have unleashed roaring funnels of water and mudslides that have consumed entire villages and taken more than 30 lives, according to official Bosnian counts. Almost a million are reported displaced; many more remain at risk. The economic toll will reach into billions of dollars in a small country with a tragic history. As one Bosnian remarked, “We were already struggling, now we are sinking.” But Bosnia is drowning for another reason, too, this one no act of God. It has been eight years since a painstaking effort, started in 1995, to establish efficient, shared institutions began to steadily unravel under a fresh onslaught of nationalism, corruption, cronyism and international neglect — a stagnation that seeped slowly but overwhelmingly into Bosnia’s political, economic and even spiritual life. Even before the torrents began, few Bosnians, whether Serbs, Croats or Bosniaks (Bosnian Muslims), saw much future for their country. Many young people simply hope to leave. Indeed, the abysmal response by Bosnia’s leaders and institutions to the current crisis reflects the country’s pervasive dysfunction. Layers of unnecessary bureaucracy and cumbersome decision-making mechanisms, nominally intended to respect group sensitivities, have been exploited by self-serving politicians who pander to ethnic fears, dispense patronage and fund party coffers, while avoiding accountability. In the wake of the flooding, Bosnians have used social media to lash out at government ineptitude — for example, a decision by public television stations to broadcast Turkish soap operas instead of emergency information. Furious flood victims say bureaucrats and officials at all levels of government have ignored their cries for help. Neighboring Croatia, Slovenia, Macedonia and Montenegro have been far quicker to offer flood relief to both Bosnia and Serbia, and do so without considering recipients’ ethnic backgrounds. Likewise, the cataclysmic flooding has forced many Bosnians out of their ethnic isolation to help one another, rekindling a long-missing sense of solidarity across ethnic lines. One might have hoped that the politicians of the country’s two ethnically divided regional units would have put aside their polarizing tactics now. Alas, the flood has become another way to score political points for elections next October. The divisive Bosnian Serb leader Milorad Dodik used an emergency meeting with Serbia’s prime minister, Aleksandar Vucic, to restate his disdain for any policies emanating from Sarajevo, Bosnia’s capital, which in his estimation serves only Bosniak interests. Among Bosniak politicians, the federal premier, Nermin Niksic, and the recently dismissed state minister of security, Fahrudin Radoncic, have focused on trading political accusations against each other rather than delivering disaster relief. In short, Bosnia needs urgent international assistance not only to deal with the floods, but also to end the country’s political paralysis. Hands-on international supervision kept Bosnia functioning for a decade after war ended in 1995, but that supervision gave way, in 2006, to a new policy of “local ownership.” When the new international high representative surrendered his powers to break local political deadlocks, he gave the fractious parties a green light to paralyze governance while Bosnian civil society and outside powers looked on passively. Continue reading the main storyContinue reading the main story Advertisement Meanwhile, the prospect of European Union membership, which was prompting reform in neighboring Croatia and Serbia, had little effect in Bosnia, whose polarizing leaders remained satisfied to cling to power through corruption, cronyism and appeals to ethnic loyalties. Angry public protests earlier this year momentarily caught the political establishment’s attention. But the protests then petered out, and with them went hopes for a sustained, indigenous movement for change, or for an international initiative to jump-start reforms. The floods provide a fresh opportunity for all to get serious about making Bosnia governable. Even the protesters, who embraced unrealistic notions of “citizens’ democracy,” need to recalibrate their approach by acknowledging that there is no substitute for properly functioning institutions led by elected leaders. Their next campaign should focus on electoral victories in October, when they will have a chance to throw out leaders whose performance disgusted them, in favor of politicians who will meet their responsibilities. Maybe that prospect could force Bosnia’s cynical and complacent leaders to change their approach. Enduring change can come only from within, but it will not come without a strong catalyst from the United States and the European Union. Re-creating full-throated outside oversight is not an option. Instead, the outside powers should devise new ways to make joining the European Union a practical possibility, so long as Bosnia’s institutions function well for its citizens. Good ideas for reforming Bosnia’s Constitution, curbing corruption and changing election rules abound, both abroad and in Bosnian civil society. What’s lacking are inducements to adopt those reforms. The full challenge posed by the floods will not just be getting relief assistance to flood victims, but also generating the will in Washington and Brussels to help Bosnia move forward politically. A failure to act boldly now could well produce a resurgence of the calamity of interethnic violence in the not-too-distant future. Edward P. Joseph is a senior fellow and lecturer at the Johns Hopkins School of Advanced International Studies in Washington. Srecko Latal is an editor at the Balkan Investigative Reporting Network in Sarajevo, Bosnia and Herzegovina.


I feel same...

Most people in Sarajevo have this dilemma - to leave the city as fast as they can and go anywhere else, or to stay here forever, and it varies with the same intensity and emotional force as the uncompromising love or disdain and hate one can feel for Sarajevo itself. However, when speaking about the hate Sarajevans may feel towards Sarajevo, it is too strong a word to denote something that is nothing more than exhaustion from something that seems to have no end, and the beginning has been long forgotten. Any future Sarajevo will be like a giant jigsaw puzzle, whose dispersed pieces may take years or decades to put together for it to resemble something recognisable. Each one of us (and here I mean those who care about the jigsaw puzzle) should try to preserve their own piece of the puzzle and wait, or rather work on replacing the waiting with action, and accelerate the moment when a true picture of Sarajevo will start to come together – not the same as before, but rather its variation. Better or worse – no one can know that. Karim Zaimovic


Would you dare?

Don't kiss me if you are afraid of thunder... My life is a storm... Anita Krizzan



"For a seede to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn't understand growth, it would look like complete destruction..."  LIFE by Cynthia Occelli



She was an angel...crawing chaos... He was a demon...seeking peace...


Faliti... :)

''Nismo se tražili, samo smo se našli... A sada tako nađeni kao da se opet tražimo. Možda je to smisao ljubavi, ta lepota neizvesnosti... Čekanje na nedočekano, nadati se u beznađu, grliti se bez zagrljaja, ljubiti se bez poljubaca, prožimati se u mislima... I spoznaja da smo tu negde. Tako blizu a tako daleko...'' Dj. B.


Malo o životinjama

„Čovjek je zaista kralj životinja, jer njegova svirepost nadmašuje njihovu. Mi živimo od smrti drugih. Mi smo hodajuće grobnice“, Leonardo de Vinci Odrastala sam u uistinu sjajnoj porodici koja me je poprilično naučila što znači biti slobodan, imati mogućnost i odgovornost izbora. Kako voljeti život i sva živa bića na planeti… Kao djete sam bila relativno dobar đak, zbog toga roditelji nisu imali kontra argumente kada bih pitala da posjedujem određene kućne ljubimce. Tako da smo na kraju unutar našeg toplog jednosobnog stana, kreirali jednu veliku zajednicu koju su sačinjavali: mama, tata, brat, kornjača, ribica, papagaj, pas Lokica i moja malenkost. Prvom polovinom devedesetih kad u okruženom Sarajevu nije bilo struje, vode, hrane, meni je najbitnije bilo da je moj pas Lokica sa nama. I bila je pravi saputnik, skupa smo išli po vodu, njeno toplo tijelo me je grijalo zimi… Naprosto jedno beskrajno toplo biće, koje nikada nije preispitivalo svoju bezuslovnu ljubav koju osjeća za ljude. Ovih dana, mjeseci, Sarajevom su se organizirali mnogobrojni protesti povodom novog zakona o eutanaziranju pasa lutalica, kako bi se riješio problem građana. I zakon o ubijanju je usvojen, unatoč protestima. Nedavno su četiri samozvana lovca ubili u BIH zaštićenu, rijetku vrstu risa. Ris je zaštićen Zakonom o lovstvu BiH, kao i istim zakonom u svim državama naše regije te i u Europi. Europska populacija risa je kritičnu tačku dosegla krajem 50-tih godina prošlog vijeka, kada ih je ostalo svega 700. Naravno da se kod nas, istog trena, na to nadobudno gledalo, kao i na sve drugo, pa jelte kako će biti psi bitniji od nas ili neki tamo nebitni ris. Pa, u divljoj prirodi bi sasvim sigurno imali veća prava nego u svijetu u kom pravila kreiraju sebična ljudska bića, koja uzimaju sebi za pravo da slijepo i istovremeno izuzetno površno, vjeruju da su iz nekog razloga bitniji od ostalih živih stvorova na ovoj planeti. Čovjek je jedino stvorenje koje je u stanju bezdušno uspavati stotine bespomoćnih životinja samo stoga što su iste razmaženi vlasnici bezdušno izbacili na ulice kad su im isti dosadili. U stanju su bez razmišljanja ubiti prelijepog risa, samo da bi dokazali da znaju da koriste vatreno oružje. Ili kako bi se mogli fotografisati sa beživotnim tijelom risa da bi mnoštvu sljedbenika prezentirali svoj bezgranični kukavičluk. Ne znam, nazovite me kako želite, ali meni je užasno jezivo kada se bešćutno i bez ikakvog relevantnog razloga, osim iz lijenosti ili zabave ubijaju bilo koja bespomoćna i nedužna bića. Izbjegavali smo divlji zapad, a kreirali divlji istok. “Ako uzmete psa s ulice i nahranite ga, neće vas ugristi. To je osnovna razlika između psa i čovjeka”, Mark Twain.


Šta je umjetnost?

Što je umjetnost?

Danas se živo raspravlja o tome kako definirati umjetnost te što čini umjetnost različitom od zabave. Kako prolazimo kroz modernističko razdoblje, različiti žanrovi i stilovi teže spajanju jedni u druge, što raspoznavanje inovatora od klonova čini još težim. Dok većina modernih ljudi zauzima relativistički stav prema umjetnosti tvrdeći da je "sve to samo zabava" i da "ne možemo suditi ili ocjenjivati umjetnost", ovaj argument nema nikakvog smisla jer bi to značilo da su Britney Spears i Ludwig van Beethoven na istoj glazbenoj razini, što je neuračunljiva izjava oko koje bi se jako malo ljudi složilo.

Kako bismo shvatili sposobnost razlikovanja kvalitete različitih umjetničkih djela, prvenstveno moramo definirati što "umjetnost" zaista znači. Može se reći da u osnovi imamo dvije različite vrste umjetnosti, onu koja opisuje (literatura, kiparstvo, slikarstvo), i onu koja ne opisuje, ili koja je čisto apstraktna (glazba). Pod opisnom umjetnošću mislimo na proces kojim poezija, na primjer, stvara slike te se oslanja na unutarnje formacije unutar uma, što veoma sliči procesu sanjanja. Kada čitamo literaturu ili proučavamo sliku, mi ponovno stvaramo slike unutar naših umova, te vremenom gradimo cijele krajobraze ideja koje su stavljene unutar okvira samog života.

Glazba je u potpunosti različita vrsta umjetnosti za koju tvrdimo da je u svojoj osnovi potpuno apstraktna. Dok ona može biti popraćena slikama, najviše u onoj glazbi koju nazivamo "programska glazba", poput Beethovenove Šeste pastoralne simfonije, glazba ne ovisi o opisnim procesima drugih oblika umjetnosti. Umjesto toga djeluje s našim osjetilima i osjećajima te je usmjerena logikom koja nas vodi kroz pripovjedanje usko povezanih ideja. Kako bismo bolje razumjeli ovu dihotomiju, pogledat ćemo što Friedrich Nietzsche kaže o umjetnosti.

U Rođenju tragedije Nietzsche tvrdi da postoje dvije glavne vrste umjetnosti, apolonijska i dionizijska. Apolon je bio grčki bog uzvišenog sanjanja, samo-kontrole, liječenja, općeg razuma i udaljenosti. Njegova dijametralna suprotnost, Dioniz, je bio bog vina, ekcesa, divljine, gnjeva, emocija i strasti. Opisna umjetnost dijeli iste osobine s Apolonom, dok je Nietzsche smatrao glazbu esencijom Dioniza. Inspiriran svojim zemljakom, pjesnikom Schillerom, kojeg znamo kao autora "Ode radosti" koju je Beethoven uklopio u svoju Devetu simfoniju, Nietzsche pokušava objasniti vezu između glazbe i poezije.

Schiller tvrdi da pisanje poezije ovisi o glazbenim idejama. On nikad ne počinje s opisivanjem slika i misli, nego dodavanjem riječi glazbenim ritmovima, te odatle stvara završni proizvod. Nietzsche ovo koristi kako bi dokazao da je glazba temelj poetskoj umjetnosti. Ali da bi se stvorila umjetnost, tvrdi Nietzsche, umjetnik mora naći ravnotežu između svojih apolonijskih i dionizijskih strasti. Iz praktične perspektive ovo ima smisla: kompozitor koji ne strukturira svoje ideje da bi stvorio nešto koherentno će stvoriti simfoniju koja nema smisla. S druge strane, umjetnik koji pokušava ostvariti uspjeh moralnom disciplinom i proračunatošću će stvoriti sterilni, beživotni oblik umjetnosti, koja nikoga neće dirnuti u srce. Djelo koje se priklanja klasicizmu će morati povećati apolonijske efekte, dok će Romantičar poput Johannesa Brahmsa morati udovoljiti svojim dionizijskim strastima.

Međutim, razumijevanje ovih različitosti još uvijek ne odgovara na osnovno pitanje: što je "umjetnost" i kako ju definiramo? Počevši s glazbom, Arthur Schopenhauer kaže da je glazba umjetnički izraz volje. Glazba obuhvaća volju samu u sebi, bez opisivanja njenih efekata ili rezultata. Time dolazimo do najapstraktnijeg oblika umjetnosti koji govori našim osjetilima i našem egzistencijalnom biću, nasuprot onome što na što se odnose naša osjetila i postojanje. Poezija, ili opisna vrsta umjetnosti je s druge strane izraz reprezentacije volje; okoliši, osjećaji i slike. Ako je poezija kora našeg postojanja, glazba je jezgra samog života.

Ovaj pogled na umjetnost je različit od onoga modernog, koji kaže da je umjetnost "iluzija" i da poezija zapravo "ne postoji". Iz idealističkog pogleda, ovo je logička pogreška. Kako onda, vi kažete, povremeno vidimo slike dok slušamo glazbu? Zašto Anton Bruckner slika planine i pejzaže? Kako ljudi u čitavom svijetu nalaze povezanost između umjetnosti i promatranja u i o životu, ako nema međusobne povezanosti između njih?

Razmislite o tome na ovaj način: glazba objektivno izražava volju bez ikakve posredne veze. U poeziji, mi doživljavamo reprezentaciju volje u obliku slika i ideja. Stoga je glazba univerzalni jezik kroz kojeg možete izraziti bilo kakve osjećaje i stanja postojanja kroz beskrajne nizove melodija, bilo da su same ili suprotstavljene drugim melodijama. Međutim, matematičke kombinacije nisu apstraktne u smislu da "ne postoje", glazbeni izraz volje je stvaran, te se može prepoznati očima umjetnika.

Većina ljudi ne može objasniti zašto povezuje Wagnerovu glazbu s ratom, ne zbog toga što je veza između glazbe i života "iluzija", nego što gledaju na glazbu iz pogrešne perspektive miješajući ju s poezijom. Poezija se lakše može usporediti s životom, jer je već u stanju reprezentacije, dok glazba to nije, te zahtijeva od osobe da prvo shvati volju koja se nalazi iza tonova, te da potom to usporedi s logičkom reprezentacijom koja će biti u skladu s voljom. Stoga ne iznenađuje činjenica da većina ljudi danas cijeni programsku glazbu koja je bila uobičajena u Romantizmu, gdje je svaki njen dio pokušavao da bude što opisniji, "stvarajući slike pomoću melodija". Međutim, važno je napomenuti da ne stvara svaka programska glazba slike; ove "slike" su radije plan emocija. Beethoven, na primjer, je tvrdio da njegova šesta simfonija nije izražavala slike, nego osjećaje usko povezane s pričom koju je on predstavio zajedno sa svojom glazbom.

Pošto smo došli do ove točke, utvrđujući da je glazba najviša apstrakcija od svih vrsta umjetnosti te da je umjetnost samo jezik koji izražava postojanje bića, onda možemo razumjeti u čemu se razlikuju Britney Spears i Beethoven. U popularnoj glazbi, uključujući rock, jazz, blues, techno i većinu metal glazbe danas, melodije su samo efekti na vrhu ritmičke razine. Razlog zašto ne doživljavamo neko putovanje slušajući Britney, nasuprot klasičnoj glazbi, je taj da njena glazba nema nikakav koherentni narativni temelj. Umjesto toga, kao što ćete primijetiti čitajući naslove većine pop pjesama danas, sve se svodi na kreiranje estetike na umjetnim temeljima, koji se pokoravaju općem jeziku poznatim po izražavanju zadane teme. Kombiniranje načina odijevanja, tekstova, tempa i zbora koji se ugrubo poklapaju s predviđenim "osjećajima" stvara sve ovo. "I'm a slave for you" i "Requiem" izražavaju dvije različite ideje, ova prva predstavljajući izjavu o egu - ili da bismo bili fini - o pojedincu, dok ova druga pokušava izraziti iskustvo volje, nečega što nema nikakve veze s pojedincem, ili ga koristi kao sredstvo za neki cilj. Kada Goethe piše o Faustu, središnji lik se koristi za predstavljanje ideja; Faust kao izolirani pojedinac nije bitan te je jedva interesantan.

U klasičnoj i neo-klasičnoj glazbi u žanrovima poput metala, ambienta, synthpopa i neo-folka su melodije središnje za razvijanje glazbe. One nisu estetički efekti, nego postaju jezik koji zahtijeva brojne promjene tempa i harmonijske kontrapunktove da bi ostvario svoje ciljeve. Ono što je viđeno kao esencija Britney Spears kao "umjetnice", njeno tijelo, način života i njeno priklanjanje popularnim idejama nema veze s umjetnošću viših razina. Život ne nagrađuje volju izraženu u pop glazbi; pacifizam, naivna ljubav, jednakost i materijalizam. Umjesto toga, klasična glazba slavi jezgru samog života; nejednakost, tragediju i radost, rat, sukob i borbu, ali ono što je najvažnije je da je ona izraz poezije i ljepote organskog postojanja. Na svom vrhuncu ona čak i ne zahtijeva izmišljeni motiv, nego postaje volja sama po sebi, potvrđujući zašto je umjetnost uvijek postojala i zašto će postojati dokle god ljudi lutali po ovoj zemlji.

Zašto umjetnost? Zašto ne zabava, jer se to čini "zabavnijim"? Odgovor je jednostavan; umjetnost nam pomaže u razumijevanju načina funkcioniranja života, ali njena priroda nije u potpunosti apolonijska, jer ako bismo samo željeli da izračunamo ideje u životu, mogli bismo se okrenuti znanosti ili religiji. Umjetnost je posebna jer opravdava život i njegovo samo postojanje kao estetski fenomen. Mi slavimo umjetnost jer nijedna druga ljudska tvorevina nije u stanju uhvatiti poetsku esenciju života. Ova poetska strana našeg postojanja nije iluzija ili izmišljotina, nego nešto ukopano u samom životu. Moglo bi se reći da je to čarolija, u nedostatku boljeg izraza. Znanost ne može izračunati njenu ljepotu, religija je razumije jedino u okvirima mitova, a filozofija jedino može opisati njen dizajn.

Da bismo razumjeli i cijenili umjetnost, mi ju moramo - kao i život - iskusiti.



The Genius Of The Crowd...

there is enough treachery, hatred violence absurdity in the average
human being to supply any given army on any given day

and the best at murder are those who preach against it
and the best at hate are those who preach love
and the best at war finally are those who preach peace

those who preach god, need god
those who preach peace do not have peace
those who preach peace do not have love

beware the preachers
beware the knowers
beware those who are always reading books
beware those who either detest poverty
or are proud of it
beware those quick to praise
for they need praise in return
beware those who are quick to censor
they are afraid of what they do not know
beware those who seek constant crowds for
they are nothing alone
beware the average man the average woman
beware their love, their love is average
seeks average

but there is genius in their hatred
there is enough genius in their hatred to kill you
to kill anybody
not wanting solitude
not understanding solitude
they will attempt to destroy anything
that differs from their own
not being able to create art
they will not understand art
they will consider their failure as creators
only as a failure of the world
not being able to love fully
they will believe your love incomplete
and then they will hate you
and their hatred will be perfect

like a shining diamond
like a knife
like a mountain
like a tiger
like hemlock

their finest art


Make love not war..I guess.. :)

I’ve been told
that people in the army
do more by 7:00 am
than I do
in an entire day

but if I wake
at 6:59 am
and turn to you
to trace the outline of your lips
with mine
I will have done enough
and killed no one
in the process.

—Shane Koyczan

Polarizacija Sarajeva

Polarizacija (lat.) razdvajanje na polove; okupljanje oko dviju ili jedne od dviju nasuprotnih točaka (ili strana)

Mnogi ljudi, koji me poznaju dugi niz godina, znaju da je jedna od najvećih ljubavi mog života upravo Sarajevo. Odrastajući uz  televizijski program „Sa3″, educirajući se uz „Top Listu Nadrealista“, „Audiciju“, Sašu Savića, Omladinski radio, nisam mogla, a da ne povjerujem da ovaj grad posjeduje nesvakidašnji karakter, dušu i izuzetno delikatan damar za kulturu. Proteklo je dosta vode od tada Miljackom, odrasla sam, stekla raznorazna, živopisna iskustva – susrećući se sa svakojakim izazovima, mogućnostima, očekivanjima.

No, ta neka čudesna ljubav, takoreći idealizirana, mi je uvijek davala snage da idem dalje, da vjerujem, da ulažem maksimum vlastite energije u potencijalno kreiranje novih kulturnih spoznaja koje treba samo reanimirati. Ne shvatajući da se sa vremenom uvijek sve mijenja – tako je oduvijek bilo i biće.

Uglavnom starim i ja. Kada starimo postajemo izbirljiviji, poznajemo bolje svoje mogućnosti, mogućnosti društva i okoline. I nekako, kada iscrpimo sve mogućnosti samozavravanja, napokon otvorimo oči. I shvatimo da je odgovornost itekako i na nama. Da smo nužno imali potrebu da slijepo vjerujemo u vlastite ideale kako bi taj privid mogao beskonačno da nas puni pokretačkom energijom.

Sarajevo je, možda,  za neke nove generacije sasvim drugačiji grad od onog kakvog ga ja doživljavam. Da parafraziram, meni veoma dragog savremenog BiH/SAD pisca Aleksandra Hemona: “Voljeti Sarajevo je kao voljeti ženu sa slomljenom kičmom”. Bojim se da je u toj rečenici sadržan sav moj strah, tuga i ljubav prema ovom gradu u kotlini.

Sarajevo danas je grad koji sve češće i češće posmatram kao neku fotografiju, sa određene distance i proučavam. Apsolutno sam aktivno uključena u sva dešavanja u njemu, koliko već mogu biti, ali ne osjećam se kao da sam istinski  prisutna i živa na način na koji sam znala biti nekada.

Naprosto obožavam ovaj grad, vjerovatno me stoga ta ljubav i boli. To je grad gdje doslovno mogu napraviti spisak ljudi koji posjećuju kulturne događaje, skupa sa brojevima telefona. Jer svi mi, posljednji ratnici za kulturu, se i lično poznajemo. Isti ljudi  tokom niza godina su ostali dosljedni ideji i smislu.

Mlađe generacije pokušavaju da shvate ko su, šta su, šta žele, gdje pripadaju, u ovom haosu postojanja ovog mikrokozmosa.

Kultura koja je nekad činila žilu kucavicu ovog grada danas se tretira kao luksuz za sve one koji nemaju šta drugo da rade (?). Čini se, kao da su nekim ogromnim pješčanim satom izokrenuta mjerila vrijednosti i kvaliteta.

No, optimista sam po prirodi i vjerujem da je druga, suprotna strana ovog grada, svjetlo, ne na kraju tunela, već vječno sacuvano unutar određene crte koja karakteriše Sarajevo, itekako prisutno u malobrojnim individualcima.

Uglavnom su to ljudi starijeg doba, no sa itekako jakim uticajem na svu omladinu sa kojom stupe u kontakt. Ovo je i dalje grad koji gotovo svake sedmice ima određene kulturne festivale, filmske večeri, izložbe itd. Upravo na „Pravo ljudski“, filmskom festival koji promoviše ljudska prava, naprosto sam bila fascinirana, određenim ličnostima u prilično poznim godinama svog života, koji su ostali vjerni sebi i svojoj ljubavi za kulturu. Polemike koje se pokrenu na takvim susretima uključuju višejezične rasprave,  i izuzetno su duboke i spoznajne.

Da li je to do toga što i mi, tačnije ja, starimo skupa sa gradom, ili što naprosto nova vremena diktiraju nove vrste ljubavi, no meni ovakve kliconoše onog meni dragog, dobrog, starog sarajevskog duha vraćaju nadu da će isti uspjeti da se očuva kroz mnoge vjekove i aktuelnosti, makar kao raritetni dašak jednog vremena i nekih generacija.

Poruka na kraju ili na početku bi uvijek bila, kada već sanjate – onda sanjajte velike snove.



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